New Year, New Arrangements: Starting Your Child Contact or Mediation Process in January

Practical guidance for couples beginning co-parenting discussions in 2026

Guest blog by Ian Walker

Introduction
The start of a new year often brings a sense of renewal and an opportunity to make positive changes. For families navigating co-parenting arrangements, January can be an ideal time to reflect on existing arrangements and explore new ways to work together for the benefit of their children. Whether you are considering mediation for the first time or revisiting child contact arrangements, understanding the process and the resources available can help make the journey smoother and more constructive.

Understanding Mediation as a Process

It is very important to remember that mediation is rarely a magic meeting. Good mediation is always a process. Where child arrangements are concerned the aim is to achieve and consolidate successful improvements to current arrangements.

With a successful process, parents will gain improved trust in each other as both well reliably deliver in practice the changes promised at the mediation meetings. Communication between the couple should also improve.

Mediation is a structured, confidential, and impartial process designed to help families resolve disputes in a constructive and cooperative way.

It is often seen as a positive alternative to court proceedings, offering a less confrontational and more collaborative approach to resolving family matters. I do not think I can remember a couple who have been able to get on better in the immediate aftermath of a contentious court process.

Mediators are trained professionals who guide discussions, helping parents explore options and work toward agreements that are tailored to their family’s needs. Mediators can come from different professional backgrounds. I am a solicitor who has specialised in children law. In my view this wider knowledge and experience is invaluable because mediation is a process which takes place in the shadow of the law. If the mediation is not successful, then going to court may well be the next alternative. I am able to share the reality of this with my mediation clients, which can be very helpful in assisting them to focus on avoiding court as an option.

One of the key advantages of mediation is its flexibility. It can address a variety of issues, including child arrangements, financial matters, and other aspects of family dynamics. Unlike court proceedings, mediation allows parents to retain control over the decisions that affect their family, rather than leaving these decisions to a judge.

For families starting co-parenting discussions in 2026, mediation can be a helpful way to create clear, practical arrangements that focus on the well-being of children while fostering a cooperative relationship between parents.

I caveat this by reminding readers that mediation has its limitations. For mediation to be successful, parents need to deliver, what they promise to do in the mediation meetings. Parents need to want to make changes. Mediation is not about one parent falling into line with what the other parent wants to happen. Both parents need to be willing and able to compromise.

If parents are disagreed on a point of principle where there is a binary solution – mediation rarely succeeds. In addition, mediation is rarely likely to be appropriate if there are issues of domestic abuse (which can include controlling and coercive behaviour) or if there are child protection issues. Mediation is also rarely likely to succeed if there is a high level of conflict between parents. In such scenarios parents can sadly become stuck in the dispute with each other and protecting their own positions/interests, rather than being able to focus on achieving outcomes which are best for their children (and may be different to what might be most convenient or seemingly “fair” for themselves.

Before agreeing to work with a couple in mediation, I have separate and confidential Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (MIAMS), where I will get an understanding of the areas to be discussed, past difficulties, safety issues and dynamics. These separate meetings allow me to consider whether I consider that mediation is a process which could be suitable to assist the couple and their family.

The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme
The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, introduced in 2021, was created to encourage families to consider mediation as an alternative to court proceedings. The scheme provides financial support of up to £500 toward mediation costs for mediations about child arrangements. The scheme does not cover mediations about financial issues. Initially launched to help address delays in family court proceedings caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, the scheme has been extended to operate until 31 March 2026. The scheme is likely to be extended again this year.

The scheme is helpful in getting a mediation process started, but couples need to be realistic about the scheme’s limitations. A good mediation process will involve a number of meetings, and the voucher may only stretch as far as to cover part of the costs of the first meeting.

Child Inclusive Mediation: Listening to Children’s Voices
Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) is an approach that places the needs and perspectives of children at the heart of discussions about parenting arrangements. This process allows children to share their thoughts and feelings in a safe and supportive environment, ensuring their voices are heard and considered in decisions that affect them.

Trained mediators facilitate this process by engaging directly with children, helping them express their views in a way that is appropriate for their age and understanding. The mediator then shares the child’s feedback with the parents, providing valuable insights that can guide discussions and decisions.

There is now a good body of research which shows that children value the opportunity of their voice being heard.  Parents beginning co-parenting discussions in 2026 may wish to explore whether Child Inclusive Mediation is suitable for their family. During the initial assessment meeting with a mediator, parents can discuss how their child’s perspective might be included in the process and whether direct consultation with the child may be helpful

Steps to Begin the Mediation Process
Starting the mediation process may be daunting, but with the right approach from both parents and with the right mediator, it can be a positive and empowering experience. Here are some steps to help you begin your co-parenting discussions through mediation:

1.  Initial Assessment Meeting (MIAM): The first step is to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). This meeting provides an opportunity for the mediator to explain the process, assess whether mediation is suitable for your situation, and outline the next steps.
2. Be realistic about what it takes to achieve successful changes. Both parents need to be willing to make changes. Both need to do what they promise to do. Do not view mediation as a cheap and easy option. A successful mediation with a number of meetings and maybe a child consultation will come at a cost, and it will be stressful. But it will be less expensive than a court process. What successful mediation delivers is not the certainty of a court order, but a flexible framework for arrangements based on better trust and communication between parents.
3.  Choose your Mediator carefully: Select a qualified and accredited mediator who specialises in family disputes. You can find mediators through professional organisations or recommendations.
4.  Explore the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme: If you think you may qualify for the voucher scheme, discuss this with your mediator during the MIAM.
5. Mediation is about making informed choices. It is not a substitute to obtaining independent legal advice. Getting legal advice is important and will assist parents making informed choices. A mediator cannot give advice (even a legally qualified mediator – although I can give information about the law, but in a neutral way).
6.  Prepare for Mediation Sessions: Before attending mediation sessions, take time to reflect on your goals and priorities and values. Consider what arrangements would work best for your family (including the other parent) and be open to finding common ground.
7.  Consider Child Inclusive Mediation: If you have children, talk to your mediator about whether Child Inclusive Mediation might be helpful. This approach can provide valuable insights into your child’s needs and help you make decisions that prioritise their well-being.
8.  Work Together to Reach an Agreement: During mediation sessions, you and your co-parent will work collaboratively to explore options and reach agreements. The mediator will facilitate discussions, ensuring that both parties have the opportunity to share their perspectives and concerns.
9.  Formalise the Agreement: Once an agreement is reached, the mediator can help you draft a document outlining the terms. If both parties agree, this document can be made legally binding but shouldn’t need to be where child arrangements are concerned.

Conclusion
January is a time for new beginnings, and for families navigating co-parenting arrangements, it can be an opportunity to create positive changes. Mediation offers a supportive and confidential process for resolving disputes, with the added benefit of financial assistance through the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme. Child Inclusive Mediation further ensures that children’s voices are heard and their needs are prioritised.

But also, be realistic. Mediation does not succeed in all cases. At the MIAM, the mediator is expected to explain other forms of non-court dispute resolution with you. A good mediator will be realistic as to whether mediation has a good chance of success and may well signpost you to other forms of non-court dispute resolution. You do not complete a journey without taking the first step – and so if your child arrangements are not working as well as they might then arranging a MIAM meeting is a good starting point.

About the author:

Ian Walker is a Solicitor/mediator and the managing director and head of family mediation at Walker Family Law. He trained as a mediator in 1996. At this time, He was one of the very first mediators to offer the sole mediator mediating all issues model of mediation (now the norm). Before this it was usual to have a solicitor mediator and a non-solicitor mediator). Ian has had a long mediation career and is experienced in Child Inclusive Mediation and Solicitor Inclusive Mediation. He also practices a model of mediation called hybrid mediation, where the mediator keeps separate confidences with each of the couple during the mediation process. In addition, Ian is a mediation trainer and a mediation supervisor for other mediators. He is a past trustee of the Family Mediators Association, and a current director of Resolution: First for Family Law. As a mediator, Ian is accredited by the Law Society and by the Family Mediation Council. In his practice as a solicitor, Ian practices both divorce/financial remedies and child law, and was a member of the Law Society Children Panel accreditation scheme for 27 years.