We know that Christmas is not a happy time that everyone. Indeed it can be very lonely and depressing. Some parents are for various reasons unable to spend time with their children on the main days of the Christmas holiday or even at all.
In the run-up to Christmas we deal with a surge in cases where separated parents are in dispute over the arrangements through which children will spend time with each parent over the Christmas holiday. Here are some hopefully helpful thoughts.
Children don’t want to see the adults around them arguing. Children want to enjoy everything that is going on. They will quite naturally want to see all of the important adults in their lives if possible. If they are taking part in a school play or similar performance children will normally want this to be watched by their important family members. Most importantly of all (again) children do not want to witness arguments; children wants to have fun and be happy.
If it has not been possible to agree arrangements for children to spend time with the adults who they do not live with during the year, then it is unlikely that there are going to be any significant changes agreed for the Christmas period. Equally, if the amount of time that the non-resident parent spends with their child is quite limited, then it is unlikely that it is going to be agreed that they can have loads ofadditional time over the Christmas holiday. Anyadditional time that can be agreed is likely to be along the lines of what is already taking place. Asking for more than is realistic will probably be counter-productive and will only lead to arguments.
If separated parents cannot get on with each other normally, then it is unrealistic to expect significant change over Christmas. Moving between one parent and another can be very stressful for children as well as for their parents. Sometimes the situation can be improved if a family member or friend can on a regular or even specific occasionassist with the move between one parent and the other.
The best time to discuss the arrangements for Christmas is in the spring of the year before. This allows ample time to undertake mediation. If agreements cannot be reached then an application would need to be made to the Court. Securing court time is not always easy and if there is a dispute over the Christmas arrangements, if an application is made to the court in the middle of December it is unlikely that the case will be able to get before a Judge in such a way that decisions can properly be made. The later a court application is left before Christmas, the less likely it is that a satisfactory outcome will be achieved
Courts make decisions based upon evidence. If an agreement has been reached between parents and it can be proven that an agreement existed then the starting point of the Court is likely to be based upon making the parents keep to their agreements (unless there is a good reason for change)rather than starting completely from scratch
Some parents sadly do not see their children or have their time with their children restricted because there are issues about safety. Examples of this can be where there has been domestic abuse or even abusive or unsafe behaviour involving the children. Sometimes the parent with whom the child lives places the question of safety to one side in order to try to be nice to the other for Christmas or because they want to give their children what they think their children want. Risks are unlikely to diminish simply because it is Christmas and if a parent places themselves or their children in an unsafe situation then they could be unfortunate consequences both with some problem arising and also with the possibility that social services could become involved with the family because of concerns over a parents failure to protect.
The best arrangements for children are ones where their parents are able to communicate well with each other and where both parents have confidence that the other will deliver their side of the agreement. The best arrangements are where parents are able to trust each other. Unless there is a significant safety issue the best way to achieve the best arrangements is through the parents talking to each other and finding a way to put past difficulties behind them. Mediation can be an excellent forum for achieving this. The starting point to a successful mediation is both parents accepting that there is a problem that needs to be resolved and both wishing to do something to resolve the problem.
Where advice is required it is always a good idea to do this as soon as it becomes clear that the problem will not easily be solved. In our experience problems do not easily go away if nothing is done to try and solve them. Reasonable arrangements for children over the Christmas period often include Christmas Day being shared or children spending Christmas with one family one year and with another the next. However, all situations are different. Getting specific legal advice is usually a good idea.
We are a Firm of Solicitors specialising in family law and a mediation service that is based in Honiton in East Devon. We also have branch offices in Taunton. Our mediation service is contracted with the legal aid agency to offer legally aided mediation in Honiton Exeter and Taunton. If you qualify for legal aid for mediation then the mediation will be free of charge.We are members of the family solicitors organisation Resolution. Ian Walker is currently the elected chair of the Devon region Of Resolution
We are contracted with the Legal Aid Agency to provide legal advice and legal representation to those who qualify for Legal Aid. (We also have a Legal Aid Contract for family mediation).
Most of our legally aided cases involve social services or child arrangements or assisting clients who have been subjected to domestic abuse. We have obtained some good results for clients since we opened.
For example, we successfully assisted a parent who had lost a previous child to adoption, to be given a fair opportunity to show that she could parent her new baby. The outcome of the case was that she was allowed to keep her baby in her care.
In another case we required a local authority to respect the rights of learning disabled parents.In a complex case, we ensured that our client received a fair hearing and that all issues were properly considered.
We successfully assisted another parent to keep her child in her care despite a determined application by the Local Authority to have the child placed in long-term foster care.
We successfully assisted a mother to secure the return of her daughter from the care of her estranged parents. The child had gone to live with the parents during a difficult time in the mother’s life. That has since passed and the Court was satisfied that it was in the child’s best interests to live with our client and also with their sibling.
We assisted a mother to obtain a Protective Injunction against her former partner who had persistently harassed her. He then left her alone.
A requirement of our Legal Aid Contract is that we hold the Specialist Quality Mark. This is a Quality Standard – which is independently audited – which requires us to operate with identifiable written processes which ensure that we are able to provide a quality service to clients.
The Specialist Quality Mark was originally granted to us in 2013 – during our first year of trading. The Quality Mark needs to be renewed every three years. At the beginning of August we were re-audited. (more…)
In the last of months I have successfully mediated a couple of cases where the answer to this was starkly illustrated.
In the first case, the couple had instructed solicitors from London and the South East. The couple had assets of several million pounds, including a number of properties and other investments. In less than 12 months they had between them accumulated legal costs exceeding £20,000.
In the second case, the couple had significantly less resources, but in a period of six years since separating they had accumulated between them legal costs of in excess of £25,000.
No financial agreement had been reached in either case. No applications had been made to the Court asking for a Financial Orders either. There had been a lot of letters written. Financial documents had been exchanged and in one case there had been a meeting between each client with their Solicitors; but no agreement.
As a solicitor, my philosophy is always to explore whether a case can be resolved quickly and amicably. If this is not possible then an application should be made to the Court. Negotiations can continue, but if there is no agreement, the Court will make a decision. I seek to avoid drift. When the final agreement/order is achieved there is finality and the costs stop.
But Mediation is quicker than a Court process. In the above mediation cases we found a solution to all outstanding issues in two and three joint meetings. All four of my clients were very pleased with the outcomes and these were completed for a fraction of the costs they had already incurred, and for a fraction of their likely costs should be cases have proceeded to Court. (more…)
On 20 August 2014 the government published a document called “A brighter future for Family Justice”
This describes itself as “a round up of what’s happened since the Family Justice Review”
Here is a link to the full document which can be downloaded from the government website. https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/346005/family-justice-review-update.pdf
There is not a lot that is new in this document, the publication of which, coincided with an announcement by the Minister Simon Hughes to make the first actual mediation session free of charge to both parties provided that one of them could prove they were eligible to receive legal aid. I published a post about that announcement yesterday which included a link to the relevant press release.
Amongst the data contained within the first part of “A brighter future for Family Justice” were statistics showing that real progress was being made in completing childcare cases if possible/normally/(unless there is an exceptional reason why not) within a 26 week period.
These type of cases routinely used to take over a year to complete. (more…)
Below is our forthcoming article in East Devon’s Midweek Herald Newspaper. I like the Midweek Herald which covers Honiton, Axminster, Seaton, Ottery St Mary, Beer and Sidmouth. I have been a regular reader since we moved to East Devon 15 years ago. I have reproduced the article in full.
April 2014 has seen big changes in how disputes between separating partners and about children should be dealt with. These include the introduction of a Unified Family Court; the abolition of Residence and Contact Orders (Child Arrangements Orders instead) and a greater expectation that couples should resolve their disputes out of Court with the assistance of a professional mediator.
It is now a Legal requirement that (more…)
When I switched on the radio this morning it was a pleasure to hear that the main headline on Radio Four was the arrival today of the Family Court. On Radio Five Live this momentous event was the second headline, behind speculation about David Moyes and Manchester United Football Club. Does speculation count as news these days?
The arrival of the Family Court, and other associated reforms, are a genuinely big deal.
As you know I am both a experienced and specialist Family Law Solicitor and an experienced Family Mediator. I have long advocated a greater use of mediation by separating couples or by parents when they encounter difficulties in the months and years after relationship breakdown. The use of mediation, in the right way, at the right time, can save each of the couple both a lot of money and a lot of stress. Where there are children, they are also saved from having to put up with seemingly never-ending conflict, anger and resentment between their parents. I routinely refer my legal clients to mediation and support them through the process, and the system to make the best use of family mediation. (more…)
