Father’s Day can take on an added significance after parents have separated, especially if the children live primarily with their mother.
The children may want to do something special for their father, and the father may expect to do something special with his children.
But achieving a Father’s Day that is special for both children and father can be difficult, especially if communication between the parents is not what it should be.
So how do you achieve a special Father’s Day after divorce? Here are five tips to help both parents prepare.
Remember that the children have two parents, no matter what your own feelings might be towards the other parent.
But save in exceptional circumstances, the children will not have any negative feelings for their father. They will love him equally, and will want to demonstrate that love on Father’s Day.
Both parents should therefore put their own feelings aside, and put the children first, doing everything they can to ensure that Father’s Day is indeed a special day.
Father’s Day may or may not coincide with a day when the children would normally spend time with their father.
But if it does not then it may be necessary to alter the contact arrangements, to ensure that the children spend at least part of the day with their father.
In short, dealing with Father’s Day after divorce, just like Mother’s Day, requires both parents to be flexible.
Do not, however, expect to rush off to court to change contact arrangements just for Father’s Day. The court will not be interested in using up its precious time just for the sake of one day.
Of course, if the mother’s refusal to be flexible is part of a larger problem with contact, then there may be grounds to go to court. If in doubt, take legal advice.
Celebrating Father’s Day after divorce doesn’t mean it can’t be special; it just means planning is required.
So don’t leave everything until the last moment.
And this does not just mean sorting out contact arrangements.
It may, for example, be that the children will want to go somewhere special with their father on the day, whether that be a trip out or a visit to other members of the paternal family.
If everything is left until the last minute then it may be too late to make such arrangements.
There are a number of things that the mother can do to help the children prepare for Father’s Day.
The first is simply to ensure that the children know that that Father’s Day is coming up. Remind them well in advance, so that they can make the necessary preparations.
Those preparations might entail the children buying or making a card for Father’s Day, buying or making a gift, or preparing in some other way. Make sure the children are able to do these things and, if appropriate, that they have the money to buy a card or gift.
Remember, as a mother there will be times when you want a special day of your own with the children, for example on Mother’s Day, and you will want the children to prepare for that.
5. The father should be prepared to reciprocate
And that brings us to the last point. There will be special days for both parents, whether they be Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, someone’s birthday, Christmas, or some other special occasion.
Both parents must be prepared to give and take.
If a mother goes out of her way to ensure that Father’s Day is special, then she is hardly likely to do the same again if the father does not ensure that the following Mother’s Day is special.
Ian Walker Family Law & Mediation Solicitors are award-winning family solicitors and are recognised as one of the leading family law firms in the South West of England with services covering family law & mediation, divorce law, child law, and arbitration.
If you require help, support or information surrounding any element of family law please contact the team to speak to one of our specialist solicitors; we also offer a free divorce support club should you require additional support whilst going through a divorce.
