Mental Health Awareness Week

Mental Health is an invisible illness. I could never see it in colleagues who were off sick and there were a lot of those in the fast-paced environment I was in. I was too busy covering the shortfall of their absence and it shames me to say that sympathetic is not a word I would associate with myself at the time. All I could see was how it impacted on my working life, adding to my late nights.

That was a long time ago, and people evolve as these issues are brought into the spotlight and discussed. It’s not until you have suffered that you can truly understand the mindset and thought patterns that go through your head.

Not always on a constant basis, but triggered by events, and then the spiral into a panic or just plain old tears, as a release. Again and again and again. I’d be okay for a while, recover, be outwardly positive and back to my old self, but the underlying issues and how I’d failed to deal with them within myself were always there, lurking under the surface.

I’ve just returned from absence due to stress and anxiety. The relief I felt when I made the call to the surgery and the weight that lifted from my shoulders when the doctor called me back and listened to how I had reached this point, what I was doing to arrest this myself and what I needed from her as a support in the short term. Just seeking help had removed some of my stress.

Did I have a support network? Yes. An incredible one. Asked daily by friends if I was okay. People who could see I wasn’t myself anymore. Asked by amazing work colleagues if they could help me, offering a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. Could I stop the spiral? No. But believe me it helped and I could never thank them enough. They probably won’t ever know what a little check-in means to you when you are in that place.

Mental Health illness isn’t something to hide. Open up to people you trust, support is there or can be found. Professional support and tablets might be the solution but my support network and my own mind has helped me improve. Music whilst cooking, getting outside in the fresh air, appreciating what you have. I’ve done all of those and some days I’ll lie in bed scrolling on my phone to pass the time, because I don’t want to face the day.

One piece of advice amongst this brain dump.

Be kind, you reap what you sow and you are rewarded in the long term.

Listen, and support others. So many people have helped me and lifted me, as I have helped them in the past. I am surrounded by a lot of amazing people, maybe I didn’t appreciate that until now, or maybe I always knew it but didn’t vocalise it.

I never thought I’d be the one to go off with stress. That was for everyone else. Not me. Don’t be shy, speak up and get help. There’s no shame in opening up about your mental health.

Thank you to my close friends and everyone who has even just asked and given a sympathetic smile, you know who you are.