Blended Families and the Law

Blended Families and the Law: Navigating Legal Issues with Stepchildren

Until relatively recent times the conventional idea of a ‘family’ was a mother, a father, and their children, all living together in one household.

But these days it is recognised that there are many different types of families apart from this ‘conventional’ type, such as lone-parent families, same-sex partnership families and, the subject of this post, blended families.

Blended families are a very significant family type. In 2022 the Children’s Commissioner stated that about 10% of families in the UK were blended families. The practical and legal issues that can arise with blended families are therefore of considerable importance.

In this post we will look at some of those issues.

But before we do so, we will first consider exactly what is meant by the term ‘blended family’.

What is a ‘blended family’?

As the name suggests, a ‘blended family’ is a blend of two families, where not all of the members of the family unit are linked by blood or personal relationship ties.

A blended family will begin with a lone-parent family, where the children live with just one of their parents, either because their parents never lived together, or because they separated.

Obviously, a lone parent may enter into a new relationship, and form a family with their new partner. We then have what is commonly known as a ‘stepfamily’, with the new partner being a step-parent to the children (who we will call the ‘stepchildren’).

But what if the parent and their new partner then have children of their own? Then we have a blended family: a combination of a stepfamily and a ‘conventional’ family’.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines a blended family as “a family that consists of two adults, the child or children that they have had together, and one or more children that they have had with previous partners”.

It should be noted that the definition does not require that the two adults be married to one another – they just have to be partners.

Having established exactly what a blended family is, we will now look at the issues that can arise with them, beginning with the practical issues.

Practical issues

It is not difficult to imagine that a blended family can bring with it certain practical issues not experienced by a ‘conventional’ family.

Perhaps the most obvious issue is the difficulty that the step-children may have in coming to terms with the fact that they now have siblings who do not share both of their parents. Whilst many children will have no problem adapting to this new circumstance, careful consideration should be given to how both the natural parent with whom the children are living and the step-parent handle the situation, particularly when the step-children are older, but not yet old enough to fully understand.

Another possible issue is the risk of cutting out the other natural parent from the lives of the step-children. It may be tempting to take the view that the blended family is now a ‘complete’ family unit, but the role of the other natural parent must never be forgotten. And if the natural parent and the stepparent decide to marry, it should be made clear to the stepchildren that in doing so they are not intending to cut the other natural parent out of their lives.

And by the same token the step-children may increasingly want to spend their time with their new siblings, especially as they get older, rather than spend time with the other natural parent. Both the natural parent and the step-parent should be alert to this and make sure, for example, that the stepchildren do not miss out on special activities with their siblings, whilst they are having contact with their other natural parent.

Having said that, the other natural parent should be alert to the possibility that their children want to spend more time with their new siblings, and take this into account with future living and contact arrangements.

There are, of course, other practical issues that can arise with blended families, but hopefully these examples will give a flavour of what all three of the adults involved can expect.

These practical issues can, of course, give rise to legal issues, in particular regarding arrangements between the natural parents regarding the time that the children should spend with each of them. Hopefully, the natural parents will be able to sort out arrangements by agreement between themselves, but if they cannot then it may be necessary for one of them to ask the court to resolve the matter.

We will now move on to the other legal issues that can arise with blended families.

Rights and responsibilities of step-parents

Parental responsibility comprises “all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his property”. This will include such matters as making decisions concerning the child’s schooling and medical treatment.

A step-parent will not automatically acquire parental responsibility for the stepchildren, even if they marry the natural parent, and will not therefore be able to have an input in the making of such decisions.

Parental responsibility will normally be shared by the mother and the father. The mother will have acquired it automatically when the child was born, and the father will have acquired it if he was married to the mother, or if he obtained it by agreement with the mother, or via a court order.

Not having parental responsibility for the stepchildren will not normally be an issue for the step-parent, as there are very few occasions in the lives of most children when important decisions arise requiring the exercise of parental responsibility, and most step-parents will simply leave decisions such as what school the stepchild should attend to the natural parents.

But there could be times when it would be beneficial for a step-parent to have parental responsibility for a stepchild, for example when the child is in the sole care of the step-parent and needs emergency medical treatment – there may simply not be time for the step-parent to consult the natural parents.

It is, in fact, possible for a step-parent to acquire parental responsibility for a stepchild, and there are two main ways of doing this.

Firstly, if the mother and the father (assuming he has parental responsibility) agree, then they and the step-parent may enter into a parental responsibility agreement, so that the step-parent will share parental responsibility with them.

Secondly, the step-parent may apply to the court for an order granting them parental responsibility. The court will make the order if it considers that that would be best for the welfare of the child.

But sometimes the step-parent will want to have a much fuller legal relationship with the stepchild, especially in cases where the child has no relationship with the other natural parent. In such circumstances the step-parent can seek to adopt the child.

Step-parent adoption

A step-parent adoption, or ‘partner adoption’ as it is sometimes called, has the effect of making the step-parent the legal parent of the child, and ends the legal relationship between the child and the other natural parent.

A step-parent adoption is actually made jointly by the natural parent with whom the child is living and the step-parent. The application can only be made if the child has been living with both of them at all times during the period of six months preceding the application.

The court will only be able to make the adoption order if the other natural parent consents, or if the court dispenses with their consent.

The court can only dispense with their consent if they cannot be found, they are incapable of giving consent, or the welfare of the child requires their consent to be dispensed with.

In many step-parent adoptions the other natural parent, most commonly the father, cannot be found, in some other cases they will be incapable of consenting, and in some cases they will give their consent.

But sometimes they will oppose the making of the adoption order, in which case an adoption order will only be made of the court considers that it is in the best interests of the child to dispense with their consent.

Inheritance issues

Inheritance issues can arise in blended family situations. These issues can be quite complex, so we will only deal with them very briefly here.

Perhaps the most important point to understand is that if the step-parent does not make a will then the stepchildren will receive no part of their estate. The intestacy rules apply to estates where there is no will, and whilst natural children may inherit under the rules, step-children will not.

It is possible for a stepchild who has not been provided for by their step-parent to make a claim against the step-parent’s estate, but obviously this scenario should be avoided if possible.

Accordingly, if a step-parent wishes to leave all or part of their estate to their stepchildren then they will have to make a will providing for this.

Changing the child’s name

The last legal issue that we will discuss is in relation to the stepchild’s surname.

Obviously, the stepchild will likely have a different surname from the step-parent. And, if the step-parent is the father of any child born to the stepfamily then it is likely that that child will be given his surname, with the result that the children in the blended family will have two different surnames.

It is not unusual that the parents in the blended family will wish to ‘rectify’ this situation, by changing the surname of the stepchild to that of the stepparent.

However, they can only do so with the agreement of the other natural parent, or an order of the court.

The court may agree to make such an order, if it considers that it would be best for the welfare of the child.

However, the courts nowadays do not consider it as important as it once was that all children in a family share the same surname, and the increase in blended families is part of the reason for that. Indeed, in 2016 the Court of Appeal commented that “the increase in blended families means that it is … no longer the universal norm for a family living together all to share the same surname”.

Accordingly, the court may be reluctant to agree to the name change.

Getting help

As will be seen, blended families can raise various legal and practical issues, some of which may entail recourse to the Family Court. If any of the legal issues apply to you then you should ask an expert family lawyer to help you navigate your way through them. To speak to one of our specialist family lawyers, complete the form on this page.