Top Five 2025 Family Law Resolutions

The New Year is a time to make resolutions, whether that be one resolution or many, and that goes for those involved in a family law matter, be it relating to divorce, children or finances, just as it does for anyone else.

In fact, the five family law resolutions we set out below are perhaps even more important than many New Year resolutions. Following them can make your family law matter far less painful for all concerned (including any children), and help you to achieve the best possible outcome.

1. Settle out of court if you can

It goes without saying that feelings can run very high after relationship breakdown. And high levels of emotion and animosity will obviously make it much more difficult for important issues such as arrangements for children and finances to be resolved by agreement.

In fact, in many cases the level of animosity will be so great that one party may see the legal process as an opportunity to exact some form of ‘revenge’ upon the other party, with the result that the matter will have to be resolved by the court.

And in other cases one party may feel so aggrieved by what has happened that they just want their “day in court”, when they can seek redress for the wrongs that they believe the other party has inflicted upon them.

But no matter what the situation, court should always be regarded as the last resort. Court proceedings can be extremely stressful and expensive, they can prolong animosity, to the detriment of all concerned, including any children, and often the order that the court makes will not be what either party wants.

In short, every reasonable effort should be made to resolve the matter by agreement, without going to court. And this even goes for the most apparently intractable case. As any family lawyer will attest, many cases where compromise initially seemed impossible are ultimately resolved by agreement.

Now, obviously many couples are unable to agree matters directly between themselves. But their lawyers should endeavour to help them settle the matter by agreement, particularly if the lawyers are members of Resolution, who adopt a non-confrontational, constructive, approach to their cases.

And if agreement is still not possible there are various other ways to resolve matters out of court, including: family mediation, where a trained mediator will help the couple reach agreement; collaborative law, where specially trained lawyers acting for each party endeavour to resolve cases via meetings; arbitration, where the parties agree to appoint an arbitrator to decide their case, and to be bound by the arbitrator’s decision; and Resolution Together, where the parties appoint one lawyer to advise them jointly. For more information regarding all of these services, see this page.

2. Always put the children first

This resolution should go without saying, but sadly it does need saying.

Almost all parents involved in cases concerning arrangements for their children will believe that they are putting their children first. But what they think is best for their children is not necessarily what is really best for them.

All too often one parent will be driven by their feelings towards the other parent, rather than by what is actually best for their children. A classic example of this is where one parent denies the children contact with the other parent because of what the other parent has done to them, rather than because that is what is best for the children’s welfare.

So when considering arrangements for children a parent should always take a step back, put aside their personal feelings, and consider: what is really best for my children? In most cases the answer is that the children continue to have a full a relationship as possible with both of their parents.

And this resolution does not just apply to sorting out arrangements for children. In everything that the parents do they must put their children first. In particular, when a parent prolongs an argument over some other matter, for example relating to financial issues, the animosity that this entails may be picked up by the children, causing them continued harm. Children do not want to see their parents at loggerheads.

3. Consider joint divorce

For many spouses, receiving divorce papers will obviously be extremely stressful, and may cause them to be resentful. It may even increase animosity, or create animosity where there was none.

Even though it is thankfully no longer necessary for a party initiating divorce proceedings to make allegations against the other spouse, blaming them for the breakdown of the marriage, there can still be an issue for the other spouse when they are told that their marriage has irretrievably broken down, and there is nothing that they can do about it.

And if that does cause resentment or animosity, then that might in turn make it more difficult for the parties to reach agreement on important matters, such as arrangements for children and finances (see Resolution 1 above).

But it doesn’t have to be like this.

One of the many good things brought about by the recent reform of divorce law which brought in no-fault divorce was the introduction for the first time of the possibility of the parties to a marriage making a joint application for divorce.

A joint application is just the same as a sole application, save that is made by both parties, who will sign a joint statement that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. They can also agree to share the court fees involved in divorce proceedings.

The parties can then deal with each step of the divorce together, including asking the court to make the conditional and final divorce orders.

About a quarter of all divorce applications are made jointly. It is clearly a good way to try to keep things as amicable as possible, and should definitely be considered in many cases.

4. Seek early legal advice

This will come as no surprise, but it really is important.

The law can be complicated. But it can also work in quite different ways than the average layperson may expect. Not knowing the law and how it is likely to apply can very easily lead someone into a far worse situation, and result in a far worse outcome.

And it is important that expert legal advice is sought early – before mistakes are made, and to ensure that a position is protected, for example by ensuring that the other party in a financial case does not dissipate assets before the case gets to court.

Very often a layperson will have their own view of what is relevant to their case. But what they think is relevant and what is actually relevant can be two very different things. Pursuing irrelevant matters can be damaging to a case, and can result in a party running up wasted legal costs.

An expert lawyer will explain what is relevant.

And an expert lawyer will advise as to what they think the likely outcome of the case will be if it were to go to court. As we will see in a moment, this can be very different from the outcome that the client initially expected.

Early legal advice may cost money, but in the long run it can save a lot more.

5. Have realistic expectations

The last resolution follows from Resolution 4. It applies to all types of family law cases, but perhaps especially to sorting out financial arrangements on separation or divorce.

All too often a party will go into a case expecting to achieve everything they want, because they are so certain of the merits of their case. But it is very rare that they will achieve everything they want.

In relation to arrangements for children one parent may be quite convinced that the children should live with them and have no contact with the other parent. They may, for example, feel that the other parent has behaved so badly that they should have nothing more to do with the children. But it is actually quite uncommon for a court to order that a parent have no contact with their children.

And when it comes to sorting out financial arrangements, it is not at all unusual for one or both parties to have unrealistic expectations of what they are entitled to. A husband, for example, may feel that he should receive the lion’s share of the assets, simply because he was the breadwinner throughout the marriage. But the law does not necessarily work like that.

Obviously, unrealistic expectations can make it much less likely for cases to be resolved by agreement (see Resolution 1 above), and therefore much more likely that the case will have to go to court, with all of the stress and expense that that can entail.

The best way, of course, to avoid the trap of unrealistic expectations is to seek expert legal advice as early as possible (see Resolution 4 above) and, most importantly, to follow the advice of your lawyer. A good lawyer will always tell their client to expect what the court is likely order, rather than tell them what the client wants to hear.

In summary, if you follow the five resolutions above (as far as they may apply) then your family law matter should be far less difficult than it could be, and the outcome is far more likely to be the best that can be achieved.